friends?

Call me narrow-minded, I don't care. I don't care who is reading this post, whether you like it or not, it is my blog. Continue reading if you think you can take it, otherwise please leave.

After so many incidents, I'm not sure whether I should still take friendship so seriously in my life or not. Is it worth it? I ask myself. I don't know. I love my friends and I take friendship as another important relationship after my family. Ok, maybe is not like I have sacrify my life or something very important on them. But what about the time I spent, my efforts to make sure everyone is still keep in touch? Did anyone appreciate it? or am I just being a busybody for doing all these 'unnecessary' things? What do I get in return? Care? They just act like, whatever, it's your thing, i don't care, I didn't force you to do it. For instance, when there's a reunion party, not matter for primary or secondary school, they tend to give lots of excuses for not coming. Like, I'm very tired, very lazy, don't feel like going, no transport(where they actually have), parents don't allow(where they actually go out nearly every weekends), I have to go to churh/temple(can't you just miss ONCE for the sake of seeing your friends whom you have not seen them for years? not even ONCE?). Not everyone can go out so easily. Some people like me have to fight really hard with their parents to get a chance to meet up with friends.

Why am I so stubborn? Why didn't I learnt from the past? I'd try not to remember what happened last time because I told myself that they didn't do it on purpose. But why must similar things happen and happen again? Whether they did it intentionally or unintentionally, I don't know. All I know is, it hurts! I don't need messages, comments or calls for asking whether I'm alright or not. I don't need messages like friendship forever, pals forever... Do you really mean forever when you send this out? And I don't need your apologise. I want a true friendship! I want friends that treat friendship truely from their heart!

Okay, this is another emotional post. I need a place to shout out. I'm sorry for making my beloved sister, Jing worried about me. Yi cheh, please don't tell mom and ask me about this post. I'm not okay, this is what I can tell you now. But don't worry, I won't do stupid things. Just give me a few days to calm down myself. What I'll do next is to concentrate on my studies and get prepared for my AS trial.